What's for Dinner?

I recently read that if you know what you are making for dinner that night in the morning, you will have a much less stressful day! Turns out . . . it's true! I waste a lot of time and subconscious energy on what we are going to have for dinner. "What do we have in the freezer? I could make______ . . . oh but I don't have_______. What about this? or that?" This goes on for hours and I never really solve the problem until I am making bean and cheese quesadillas (My go to meal) at 6:30!
Figure out what you are going to have in the morning right after the kids are off to school. It is so much quieter and you can take things out of the freezer or cook chicken and set it aside. An ounce in the morning is worth it's weight in gold between 5:00-6:00 p.m.! Am I right or am I right!!!

Magic Butt Balm

4 oz 40% zinc oxide (nighttime relief Desitin)
4 oz petroleum jelly
1 oz triple antibiotic ointment

Works like a CHARM!!

Embracing the jeans that "fit"

(No this is not my rear end)


I have had an epiphany that I really need to "embrace" the stage that I am in and quit "resisting" it.

This stage requires constant selflessness!

These are the days of making meals, forts, and play dates; wiping noses, counters and floors; changing diapers, attitudes, and sheets; fixing lunches, boo boos and broken hearts. These are the days of digging deeper, working harder, and sleeping less. These are the days of blisters and dry skin, wrinkles, house pants, and cellulite!

I remember once when I went shopping with a friend. We were trying on jeans and right there in the middle of the dressing room, she got down on the floor Indian style. When I asked her what in the world she was doing she said that she wanted to, "make sure that she could play with her kids comfortably in the jeans." What?!



I can't tell you what an example she was to me that day of where my heart should be. It wasn't about whether or not her backside looked good in the jeans or whether or not they were fashionable (although those things are important too:). It was important to her to be able to get down and play with her children.



So, here's to play dough and paper dolls, mac and cheese and McDonald's, finger paints and frilly socks, goldfish crackers and Goldilocks, crayola and captain crunch, baseball and blowing bubbles, Disney and dollies, PBS and peanut butter and jelly!

Priceless Habits

I recently FELL OFF THE WAGON!!! I STOPPED working out altogether! I was sick of the pressure and wanted to get to a place where I could work out because it was a healthy lifestyle choice and not for the sole purpose of losing the ten lbs that I need to lose.
I am happy to say that I am getting there. I started a 21 day challenge about 10 days ago that I read about on "Asking Jane." She says that it takes 21 days to really feel the effects of something in your life and 21 days to really form a habit.
I started off really well with two days in a row of getting up early to work out! I was really excited!! Then, life happened. Swimming in a sea of duties and getting buried by wave after tidal wave of endless, sleepless nights, I managed to drag myself out of bed three glorious mornings out of the five that I had set out for. I say glorious because they became my saving grace to set the tone for my attitude and energy for the relentless hours of WORK that I was having to do day in and day out! I learned again that for me, getting up and having time to myself did SO MUCH MORE for me than getting an extra hour of sleep!
I was tempted to start over with my 21 days but soon realized that doing so would result in sure failure. There are always going to be weeks like last week. The very fact that I pulled myself out of bed THREE times during that week has given me the confidence that during a normal week I can do five easy! So, here I am, day 10 and I have only missed two days - not too bad!
I am feeling the difference in my life, motivation is making its way back into my psyche and most importantly, I feel more in control. Now, I don't have to wait until the evening to get time to myself, I have it in the morning and at night! Try it! You won't be sorry!

MOMents

Yesterday was the kind of day that no one tells you about before you are a parent. It was the kind of day that included, parasites, diaper rashes, ear infections, total strip down and clean of the entire house, laundry, laundry, and more laundry, excessive hand washing, sore ankles, and the like. In these moments I am tempted to wish away this time in my life. I am being humbled and taught much about service and sacrifice. I am coming to realize that it is my privilege to serve my family. The mundane things that I do from day to day are truly testaments of love. I could very easily go about my duties begrudgingly, but doing so would be to miss out on a beautiful experience. The Savior truly loved and served those around him. He was not above any task, why should I be? What better way to learn this lesson than by being a Mother. I believe that it was by design that women be required this kind of service to learn charity and to share the love of the Savior to all those around them. In this light, there are so many small and simple things that are great rewards to me. Small and simple moments that my heart is open and filled. Moments like the following:



The way that Adam looks at me. He loves me so unconditionally and depends on me for everything. We have a special bond that was born of the difficulty that he has had with communicating. (Not to mention he is my only son) I was his only ally in life when no one else could understand him. He trusts me completely. Our time together each night before he goes to bed is so special to both of us. He is my little man. (That is me under there)

The sheer joy of interacting with my Baby. There is something so natural about the love that you feel for your baby. They are so innocent and everything is new to them. You provide them with everything they need on a daily basis. A baby fills your cup in a way that nothing else can.

Feeling their soft squishy skin, hearing their first attempts at words, listening to their babble, seeing the world through their eyes, watching them learn to roll over, crawl, stand, walk and then run! What an amazing learning process. Seeing the sense of accomplishment written all over their little faces.



Watching my oldest child grow up and become so many things that I have tried to teach and emulate and so much more. Watching her care for her younger siblings and assume the role of the oldest that I am so familiar with. Seeing her mature and think for herself. It's hard to describe.




Seeing my children develop their own personalities, their own likes and dislikes, their own thoughts, their own emotions. They are, after all, individuals, little adults. It is the ultimate curiosity. I can think of few things more fun, be it a trip around the world or a fancy career. Few things are more fun than watching in awe as your children become themselves.

Funny moments that make us all giggle. Giggling children are contagious no matter what kind of mood that you are in.



Watching the older ones literally blossom into beautiful young ladies. Watching their hair grow, their faces change shape, and their bodies get taller and thinner. Listening to them read and watching them write sentences and creative stories. It is incredible to see.

Seeing the love that my husband has as a Father for his children. Being able to give him that experience. There are no words.



Experiencing the ups and downs of this great adventure with my best friend in life. The looks that we give each other when we are at our wits end, the bursts of laughter when things could not get more chaotic, the sorrows and vulnerability we share when we are faced with trials, the happiness and joy we feel equally over our children, the day in and day out chores that we juggle, the dreams, the hopes, the memories.




Just this week . . .

It was a really hard week. I got very little sleep, I WORKED ALL. DAY. EVERY. DAY. These are just a few of the moments that I would have missed.


*The surprising amount of gratification and accomplishment I felt when Adam finally said the letter sounds for L and G. It was as if I had passed a major exam or gotten an enormous pay raise.*


*When Adam came to me and said, "Momma, I have sugar in my eyes." (sand from the park)*



*Adam running to me while I was in the shower shouting, "Flower Doctor!" It was the only way he could think of to tell me that there was someone at the door with flowers. (from my sweet husband - another moment I would have missed)*



*Rachel's best lie about what the nurse said when she allegedly went to the nurse at school. "Well, I'm just not quite sure what to do about that" in her best nurse voice.*



*Claire's cute little lips making out the shape of the word "Eeeew!"*



*Adam surprising me with the knowledge of all of his letter sounds! He calls every letter a G but knows all of the sounds. Shock!* The letter G says . . . A, The letter G says . . . Puh, the letter G says . . . Buh, The letter G says Cuh . . ." *

*The way that Adam reaches up with his little hand and very abruptly turns my face toward his when I am on the computer.*


*Rachel reasoning about the plan of Salvation or why we need to tell the truth. She is such a deep thinker and comes up with questions and thoughts that blow my mind.*


*The way that Audrey came in last night from her date with her Daddy to the Miller outdoor theatre filled with energy and actually beaming! She was sipping a soda out of an old fashioned bottle with a straw. Her hair with its blonde streaks was wind blown and long down her back. Her cheeks were rosie from the chill in the air. She looked and felt more grown up than I think I have ever seen her.*

There are many days that it does not feel natural for me to be a Mother. It is hard work and sometimes I have a terrible attitude. The more time that goes on, and the more that is required of me, I realize that this role is completely necessary for me in this life. There is not better way for me to learn to be humble, to learn to serve, and to learn gratitude.

I feel blessed to be a Mother!

Some Practical Advice

Your going to have to get up every morning and work harder than you've ever worked. But the work will be rewarding and even exciting if it's focused on teaching, loving and orchestrating small successes. Otherwise, your life is custodial and frustrating.
-asking Jane
Want more where that came from? I stumbled upon this blog today. (I took the quote from her)
http://askingjane.blogspot.com/2010/01/feeling-overwhelmed.html

Fasten your seatbelts . . .

. . . it's gonna be a bumpy ride! My kids have decided to grow up!! You are not going to believe the conversation I had with my almost eight year old tonight. It went a little something like this . . .

Audrey:

"How come I can't have a cell phone?! ALL of my friends have a cell phone!" (Oh the injustice!)

Mom: (Me)

"Audrey, I am sure that ALL of your friends do not have a cell phone."

Audrey:

"I feel left out! I hardly have any electronics." (Did she just say electronics?)

"My friends can get whatever they want and you don't let me do anything. I feel like a baby!"

Mom:

"Well you are just going to have to get used to it!" "There are going to be many times in your life that other people are going to have things that you don't have. You have SO MUCH MORE that most children do. You need to be grateful for what you have."

Rewind to a couple of days ago . . .

Slam door and cue stomping and huffing.

Audrey:

"I feel embarrassed in front of my friends! My friend said, "You can't ride bikes out of the cul-de-sac!!?? I can go anywhere I want to." I feel like you treat me like a baby! Why can't I go outside the cul-de-sac!

Mom:

"I can't see you when you go outside the cul-de-sac and I don't want you to get hurt."

Audrey:

"I'm not going to get hurt!"

Mom:

"What if someone took you?"

Audrey:

"People in this neighborhood are nice, no one is going to take me!"

Mom: (What do I do here???)

"I'll tell you what, I will let you go around the corner to the stop sign and then you have to turn back around."

Audrey:

Out the door, new found freedom to be abused!

Split screen to Rachel . . .

Already outside doing everything that Audrey has at least bothered to talk to me about. Blissfully doing whatever she wants and not even taking a moment to consider whether or not it is allowed.

Cue Adam

"I want to play in the sprinkler!" (In broken English)

Mom: "Go ask your sisters to play with you."

Beep Beep Beep (door alarms)

Mom: (I'm sure he will come in when he realizes he can't turn it on by himself)

Five minutes later . . .

No Adam!!! All over the house, in the car and everywhere outside - NO ADAM!

Mom: (Panic!) He has never done this before.

10 minutes later . . .

Scan to nice lady walking hand in hand toward the cul-de-sac with half naked three year old boy.

Mom: Embarrassed, excuses, hugs, Thank you's!

Do I have a target on my forehead?? HELP!!!!!

Identity Crisis

Last night I dreamt that I left my family and went back to college. It was such a liberating feeling. I remember that in my dream I took a long shower and spent a great deal of time primping. I attended a seminar/devotional and walked around all by myself. The strangest part about my dream is that my family was just "allowing" me this little break. My husband was taking care of everything in my absence.
Some days I really do want to go back to college, or even high school. I could be so selfish and no one really blamed me. Everything I did was for me. I did the things that I loved to do and I felt NO guilt whatsoever. I was thin (although I didn't know it). I could eat all kinds of junk food without paying for it at all! I actually had fun doing exercise and it was built into my daily schedule so I never even had to think about it. (I was on the dance team). My love life was exciting, my boyfriend was Romantic and I had fun things to do on the weekends!
These days I have to wait until after 8:30 p.m. to be selfish. Even then, there is guilt because there are always things that I "should" do. Not to mention, if I don't get to bed early enough then I will not have the energy to wake up early to exercise. Exercise is less than fun and something I have to do to try to lose weight. I'm exhausted ALL THE TIME even though I am almost certain that I get more sleep than I did in High School. I feel completely out of shape in every way.
Although there are many things that I would never want to go back and relive, I am sure that there are things about the here and now that I will look back on someday and not want to do over. I just hope that I am skinny, have energy, and have regained some of myself by then. Here is to hoping . . .

Arm Chair Parenting

My husband coined the phrase "arm chair parenting" today and I thought it was too good not to share. This is the kind of parenting you do with the least amount of effort from the comfort of your "arm chair." I was lying in bed today trying to take a nap and the kids would come in every few minutes with needs or complaints. I made them leave and shut my door and then I resorted to yelling things from the other room like, "say your sorry." "give him back his game." etc. I then complained about the fact that I was having to "deal with the kids" instead of take a nap like I wanted to. That is when he said, "all you were doing is arm chair parenting." We had a good laugh.

Giving up . . .

So . . . I have given up on flylady! I'm sure she is a wonderful person with some great ideas but I just don't have time to shine my sink people!!

She fed my super Mom complex and made me feel like I really could do it all! Not true. Maybe you can do it all but I cannot!

I've adopted a new way of doing things. It's called, "Do what you can and forget the rest." Brilliant, I know.

The trick with this new school of thought is letting go of guilt. You CANNOT have guilt for what you have not accomplished or it DOES NOT work!

My days have definitely been lighter.

Yesterday I finished a lot of laundry and did a whole lot of other things that I don't remember at the moment. Today, I vacuumed my stairs! I emptied my Trashcans! I swiffered my floors! I mopped my bathroom! . . . and of course all of the other mundane things that I usually do. I even managed to squeeze in a shopping trip just for fun! My trick? I felt like it.

Dangerous? Maybe. I have a lot of days that I don't feel like it.

My Dad shared a story with me that has turned out to have a lot of relevance.

"When he was young he had to weed the side of his house that was not sodded. This was a vast see of weeds that went on as far as the eye could see. (At least to his young eyes it seemed). Because he is a creative person, this chore was just too much! What a boring job, bend and pull, bend and pull. So, what did he do? He took out his trusty Hoe and divided the great rectangle that was his parents side-yard into a giant pie. He worked one sliver at a time until the whole pie was rid of it's green leafy topping. Some days, he would divide it into little squares, a patch work of ragweed and dandelions. After he was all finished, he would rake it into diagonal lines or throw in a couple of swirls just for kicks.

What is the relevance of this you ask?

Housework is my side-yard, and chores are my weeds. I can't pull the weeds the same way each time or my creative brain will suffer from stimuli starvation. Although I haven't figured out how to divide my house into a pie shape quite yet, I have given up on the bend and pull approach.

Here's to creative monotony!!!

Today

In an attempt to overcome my great struggle with anxiety, I am going to try to focus more on "today" and worry less about everything else.

Today I am working my way through this . . .


Today I am grateful for good friends that always know what to say even when it's not what you want to hear.

Today I am avoiding this . . .



Today I am proud of myself for finally finding my way to the gym for body pump at 6:00 a.m.

Today I am looking forward to finding balance in my life and getting comfortable with my responsibilities.

Simplify

I recently read this post http://71toes.blogspot.com/2010/01/my-2010-word.html about focus. It is very true that if we focus on what is right in front of our face we will lose sight of the object that is in the distance.

I also read this post from Cjane http://blog.cjanerun.com/2009/09/first-babies.html about how there is a time and a season for all things.

After setting myself up for COMPLETE failure with my new years resolutions I was completely overwhelmed with ANXIETY. (something I really STRUGGLE with from time to time)

After a minor breakdown this morning and an emergency phone call to the most patient man I have ever known; the only man I know, in fact, who can actually listen to a fully emotionally charged female rant and make sense of it, (my Father) I am feeling better.

This is what I have decided to do - Erase ALL of my goals but one!! It was liberating. I went to the computer spreadsheet that was set up to calculate percentages of my successes and failures and I hit DELETE. (Sorry Honey . . . I guess I am not ready).

I then made this:

Simplify

Personal Spirituality

Quality Time with Kids

I'm going to hang it on my fridge.

Does this mean that I am not going to try to lose 15 lbs, maintain and ultra organized house, or stop eating sweets, etc. etc.?

No.

That is just not going to be my focus.

Have any of you ever seen this object lesson?

There is not yet sand in this jar but there is room enough to fill this jar with sand. If you put the sand in first, the rocks will not fit.

I have LOTS of sand!

But the ROCKS are the most important.

Deep sigh . . .

Thanks Dad.

Why do I eat sweets?

Why do I eat sweets?

I know they're bad for me.

They make me feel fat and grumpy.

They make my pants tight, which also makes me feel fat and grumpy.

Sometimes, they even gives me a headache.

What is it about sweets?

As I pressed my fork down through the smooth texture of my famous pumpkin cheesecake, I thought about not eating sweets.

I raised my fork to my mouth . . . the velvety texture on my tongue . . . simply divine.

Comfort food. Pure comfort.

It is doing something that you know you shouldn't do.

It is a privilege.

Something out of the ordinary in the midst of ordinary life.

It speaks of family and friends and laughter, it smells and tastes of love and happiness.

It's a cup of hot chocolate on a cold winter night, a pan of fresh, warm Cinnamon rolls on a Sunday, a bowl of ice cream on a summer's day, strawberry short cake of the fourth of July, apple pie when the leaves start to turn, chocolate cake on your birthday,and on this day, pumpkin cheesecake to bring in the New Year.

I fear it's in my blood . . .

and on my thighs!

Confession . . .

I ditched church in the middle of Sunday school. Just grabbed the baby and ran for the door. Now it's just me at home + baby's sleeping = heaven! Sunday mornings are hard! I love church but I have the hardest time with the "getting to" part. I am always late. It doesn't even matter what time I get up, I'm late. Some days I get upset about it and others I shrug it off. Today I am feeling a little overwhelmed. How can one person do all of this? I now have a family of six and I am the Mommy! I am the one that is supposed to hold all of this mess together! My hat is off to you women of all ages who have managed to figure out a way. I guess that is where I am at, figuring out a way. We've got the love part down. There is a lot of love to go around. It is all of the managing. Managing emotions, clothing, meals, paperwork, groceries, events, homework, and extra curriculars. I'm off to try to "organize" myself on paper . . . wish me luck!

Weekly Chores

Monday:
-Empty Trash (Every trash can in the house!)
-Wash and change Sheets
(half of the beds each week)
-Clean Mirrors
(mirrors on landing, in piano room, dressers, bathrooms, French doors, and front door)
-Swiffer Floors Swiffer around the kitchen table and snack bar
(all hard surfaces including bathrooms)
-Get caught up with Laundry Run two or three loads and then give up
(Folded and put away in drawers)
-Throw out old magazines and mail Look at the stack in the corner and let out a deep sigh
(Any paper clutter that we don’t need)
-Clean out refrigerator How long has this been in here? Didn't we have this last week. (Green mold and fuzz means longer than a week)
(Throw out old food and wipe down)

Tuesday:
Empty Trash
Change Sheets
Clean Mirrors
Swiffer Floors
Vacuum Stairs and Upstairs
-Plan Menu Waste time looking up new recipes and flipping through cook books and then decide to make the old standards because you don't have the energy to make a grocery list of all of the new items you will need.
-Grocery Shop I'll wait until my husband gets home.
-Mop Floors Spot treat spaghetti stains . . . Why do I even put this on here??
(on the main floor and the bathrooms)
-Water Plants Have I ever done this??

Wednesday:
Empty Trash
Change Sheets
Clean Mirrors
Swiffer Floors
Vacuum Stairs and Upstairs
-file papers In the trash can
(bills, kids art, etc.)
-Run errands
(make returns)
-Outings with Kids
-Arrange a babysitter for Friday. Wish we could go out this weekend!

Thursday:
Empty Trash
Change Sheets
Clean Mirrors
Swiffer Floors
Vacuum Stairs and Upstairs
-Zone Cleaning
(focus on a specific area)
-Clean Bathrooms Clear the area, wipe down with a clorox wipe and call it good
(Toilets, tubs and sinks)
-Wash bathroom and kitchen rugs They're still in the laundry room from last week.



Friday:
Give up on Monday's Chores and decide to do them next Monday.
-Clean out purse Say What?
-Dust Say What?
-clean laundry room I can barely open the door!
(wipe down washer and dryer, clean out shoe basket, take items that are hanging to their appropriate destinations)
-Go on a date! Watch reruns of Sienfeld and go to bed.

Saturday:
- Clean out and wash the car. Have you seen my car?
(includes vacuuming, washing windows and wiping out interior)
- Play with Family!
- Saturday Chores Scatter toys all over the house!
(preparing for the Sabbath: straightening up, setting out clothing for church, empty dishwasher)
- Prepare for Sunday Dinner Finally go to the grocery store!
(plan what we are having and take things out of the freezer, make certain dishes in advance)

Sunday:
-Write in Journal Try to take a nap!
-Play games and spend family time.



Does anyone know a good housekeeper?