One Amazing Woman!

Leah Tanner Cardon

I will never forget my many visits to Granny and Grandad’s house as a child. In the early morning hours, the door would swing open and in would walk Granny carrying grocery bags full of our favorite things: seven –up with vanilla ice cream, “Granny’s specialties” a.k.a. toast with ham and melted cheese, butterscotch candies for hocus pocus, peanuts, and of course all of the fixings for Dad’s favorite fried chicken.
There were evening rides in the back of Grandad’s el camino, and afternoons in the backyard playing on the close line and cinder block fence. I remember the comfort I felt at Granny’s house and the walls and walls of endless memories, all testaments of a life well lived. I can almost see Grandad sitting on the corner square bar stool eating his eggs, sunny-side up, sopping up the yolk with a piece of toast. I can see him in the garden watering the lawn or pulling weeds. They were a perfect team, each such flawless examples to their posterity.
I have often thought of Granny as a young lady. In a time when girls just didn’t do things like go on missions and attend college, she did. At a time when women married young and stayed in the home, she experienced life, then married and still had eight children to boot! With all of the smarts and talents that she possessed she mothered her children. She cultivated their interests and fostered a love for beautiful things, poetry, music, literature, and the arts. She scrimped and saved so that she could provide opportunities to her children that they would never have otherwise had. She thought outside the box, parenting with creativity and cleverness. She was quick witted and saucy, yet respectable, appropriate, and unassuming. Always there to lend a hand, she led a lifetime of service. Never above the most menial tasks, she worked her entire life for the betterment of others.
Somehow, from her modest home in Farmington New Mexico, she managed to inspire her eight children to explore all facets of life; to taste, create, and experience all of what our world has to offer, all of the while, staying true to the thing most precious above all, a testimony of the Savior. What a legacy she leaves behind. In her own quiet way, she has inspired us all. Her name will always mean dignity, selflessness, humility, intelligence, strength, resilience, faith, and endurance. Leah Tanner Cardon. We love you! Love, Niki

Alone Time

It's 1:45 a.m. and I am up waiting for my images to upload to an album that I am making for Brittany's wedding. What am I doing up at this hour you ask? I'm enjoying the silence and I just haven't been able to part with it just yet. Silence and I have been strangers as of late. Now before you get too excited, thinking that I have been relishing in silence for the past four or five hours, think again. I just tucked Rachel back in bed after a bad dream (this happens at least four times a week) and I also just put Claire in her crib. I have really been thinking a lot lately about my role as a Mother. I have all of these high hopes that I will be gentle and kind and nurturing and other such adjectives that we often hear to describe Mothers. Instead I feel irritable, moody, grouchy, bossy, etc. I renew my goal each night to become more "Mothering" only to renew my goal again the next night feeling a little discouraged. The truth is, it just gets too loud around here and my nerves just get a little too sensitive. I want to be patient, I really do, but when it is 5:30 and I am preparing dinner to the sounds of children thudding through the kitchen and squealing at the top of their lungs, laughing hysterically (which is cute but also strangely annoying). I love that they are having a good time and enjoying “their chother” as Audrey would say, but I just can't remember if I put in one cup or two. That is when my blood starts to simmer and then turns into a slow boil. I want to tell the kids to "BE QUIET!" but what do I expect them to do? Sit and fold their arms on the couch - then I would really be worried! I read all of these lovely quotes about not caring about your house and playing with your children, enjoying their childhood, seeing things through their eyes. When you are knee deep in laundry (did I say knee deep? I meant head high) and there is clutter in every corner how do you turn a blind eye??!! I have good intentions. Tonight I was prepared to read stories and play with their hair, sing songs and lull them off to sleep. One whine after another whimper; "I have to go to the bathroom!" "I need a drink." “I’m hot.” “I don’t have any space.” and what happened to my good intentions I ask as I all but slam the door shut on my way out. These are my babies. I love them, each and every one. There is not enough me to go around. So, here I am, at 1:59, alone in my office, relishing in silence, preparing to be a Mother tomorrow

Reality Check

There is elmers glue on the rug and stickers stuck to the desk in my husband's office. Adam was standing on the desk with a bottle of glue (lid off) when I walked in. The surface of the desk is leather.

Reality Check

Claire, my four month old (size 2 diapers) will be wearing Adam's diapers, my 2 1/2 year old (size 5) for the remainder of the day or until I can get to the store without my FOUR children (whichever comes first).

One habit that will save your life!

Fly Lady says that you should wash, fold, and put away all of the laundry in your house every day! Now before you have a complete panic attack, hear me out. As I am typing this I probably have two loads of laundry to fold, one in the washer, one in the dryer, and three or four loads (if you count the comforter that needs washed) left to put in. AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
That my friends, is the result of NOT taking flylady's advise. It takes a lot of hard work upfront to begin doing laundry this way. It requires that you get all the way caught up and then you can start the maintenance process.
In order for me to stay on top of it I have to do two loads of laundry a day (clean, folded and put away). This way, I only do two small loads a day and it takes me way less time and energy! It is much easier to fold two small loads of laundry than it is to do my eight loads that I have to look forward to today!
One laundry day a week is impossible! A wise woman once gave me a helpful tip. She said to fold your laundry immediately when it comes out of the dryer and then put it away if time permits. That way you do not get in the habit of letting it sit in piles and it doesn't have time to get wrinkled.
Remember, if it is only one of two small loads, it will only take you five minutes! So much easier! Now, I'm off to play catch-up! I hope I can get back to this more efficient process soon.

Doesn't it take just as much work or more??

My friend Eden read the last post and asked this question in regards to teaching your children to help. The answer is yes and no. I have always thought the very same thing. I can't stand it when I am stressed out and trying to clean or cook and the little people get involved! It is hard to manage their little hands and their clumsy efforts in a stressful situation. To avoid this, you have to plan ahead. You have to change your mentality. You are training them, not just getting the work, done. What surprised me was that as soon as the kids got involved they were also entertained. Keeping the kids busy while I tried to do housework was always my greatest challenge. This way, they are busy helping and it really takes no extra effort. They come to me and ask, "what else can I do Mom?" I may have to go back and finish their jobs here or there but it is still easier than doing the whole thing myself. My greatest fear is to be the type of martyr Mom who has to do EVERYTHING for her teenage children! It is our responsibility as parents to TEACH our children how to function as adults. I can't tell you how many times I hear my friends talking about how they do not know how to cook! I have been making one of my girls my dinner helper and the other my dish helper. The dinner helper gets to help me cook meals that week. It may only be a couple of meals but every little bit helps. One night, we had breakfast for dinner when we were running low on groceries. Rachel was my helper. She stirred the eggs in the pan while I watched. She then made all of the toast and buttered each slice! She felt so proud of herself! There are so many little things that the kids can do to help cook. The key is to start with a clean surface and as little outside noise as possible. That means putting on a movie for the younger kids or setting up a game in the other room. Trust me. Teaching the kids to help is easier in the long run and is an absolute must for your children's future!

Reality Check

I totally forgot that I invited people over for dinner and was kindly reminded when they showed up at my door! Can you say improvise???

Rally the Troops!

A new day has arrived at the carter home! I am no longer alone! I now have a little army of cleaners at my disposal if I will only take the time to train them. The days of cleaning my whole house by myself from top to bottom while my kids watch TV are over. Now we blast music throughout the house and everyone gets a job. The kids actually really enjoy helping! I have been amazed at what the kids are able to do!

Rachel helped with drying and putting away dishes. Age 5

Rachel and Adam were given windex wipes to clean the windows and mirrors. (Windex wipes work much better for kids because they can't spray the whole bottle of windex on one window!)
Adam, Age 2
Audrey vacuumed the stairs! Hallelujah (I hate vacuuming stairs). She also vacuumed the other rooms in the house. age 7
I have really had to change my attitude about teaching the kids to help. I have learned some great lessons in the book that I am reading "The parenting Breakthrough." by Merrilee Browne Boyak. She says "parents who nurture too much convey messages like this to your children: You can't do this because - You are not smart enough.
You're not reliable enough.
You're not old enough.
You're not responsible enough.
You're just a child.
I don't trust you.
I don't believe in you.
You're not capable of taking care of yourself.
The quality of your work is inadequate.
Moms do all the work.

On the flip side she says:

"The best self-esteem for children comes from being able to do things on their own."

"In the final analysis it is not what you do for your children but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings." Ann Landers

So, teaching my kids to do work builds self confidence! When put into action I was amazed at how the mood in my home changed. Instead of feeling like I was alone cleaning in circles while the kids destroyed things behind me, I felt like we were on a team, having fun and working together. We work hard together before noon and then we can do something fun for the rest of the day!


A list of age appropriate tasks to follow next post!

Hey Ladies!

I'm so excited about this blog! Every time I have ever posted anything about Motherhood on my own personal blog I have had an overwhelming response. The truth is, we can all use all the help we can get! Throughout my own personal journey of becoming a Mother (and by becoming a Mother I don't mean simply giving birth to a child), I have stumbled upon some really helpful resources. I want to share them with you! I want this to be a place where we can all discuss parenting issues, home organization strategies, emotional health and wellness, physical health, and the like. There is so much involved in being a woman! We are complicated creatures! Ready . . . set . . . go!



The first thing I want to share with you is a poem. It goes a little something like this . . .


I am your constant companion.
I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden.
I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.
I am completely at your command.
Half of the things you do you might as well turn over to me and I
will do them - quickly and correctly.
I am easily managed - you must be firm with me.
Show me exactly how you want something done and after a few
lessons, I will do it automatically.
I am the servant of great people,
and alas, of all failures as well.
Those who are great, I have made great.
Those who are failures, I have made failures.
I am not a machine though
I work with the precision of a machine
plus the intelligence of a person.
You may run me for profit or run me for ruin -
it makes no difference to me.
Take me, train me, be firm with me, and
I will place the world at your feet.
Be easy with me and I will destroy you. Who am I?
I am Habit.
(Anonymous)


Wouldn't you love to have something done automatically and without thought? I would. Lets create some good habits!



According to the experts who study human behavior, it takes only twenty-one days of doing something consistently to form a habit. In other words, it can be just three weeks to a better me! Poor habits can be exchanged for good ones or a new one can be cultivated in three short weeks. Good habits are liberating.
It’s worth it to create good habits in your home management. The returns will be good habits for the entire family, allocating much of the daily doings to the automatic pilot of habit, thus freeing you up to build relationships and enjoy creative pursuits.


©2009 Daryl V. Hoole


Start small!

Tomorrow morning when you wake up, make your bed immediately.

Then, open all of your blinds and let the morning sunshine in! (No! Not sunshine when I'm all groggy! (My point exactly!))

Next, start a load of laundry (or restart the one that you left in there yesterday).





Then unload your dishwasher (or load it and run it from last nights dinner) while your kiddos eat breakfast and watch cartoons.










Ahhh, doesn't that feel better! By now you should be feeling energized and optimistic!