Ugh!

There has been lots of positivity on here lately so here's some ugly truth . . . I'm GRUMPY!!! I didn't get enough sleep last night and I am DONE! I need all of my kids to be asleep and out of my hair, not splashing water all over my bathroom floor and yelling at the top of their lungs! Ugh!! Where is my Nanny when I need her?

Just over the next hill . . .

Dear Audrey, Rachel, Adam, and Claire,

I am writing this blog for you and today there is something that I want to say. I have had a sizable struggle with anxiety. It is not crippling as it can be for others but it is there nonetheless. I think every Mother has it in some degree. There is just something in me that has to worry. I worry about everything from the serious to the trivial to the completely illogical. Here is the point. It is not worth it to worry.
I have spent a great deal of time waiting; waiting for things to be more organized, life to slow down, for you to be older and more independant. Then, then I will have things together, I will have peace and stability and confidence. As time goes on, I am realizing that I will never arrive at any certain destination. Today may be all that matters. There are over a hundred cliches written on the matter, but for good reason.
There are always going to be reasons to worry. What is the cure for doubt and worry? FAITH. I used to think that having faith meant that I wouldn't worry because the bad thing that I was worried about wouldn't happen if I had faith. I am coming to understand that faith cures worry because we know that even if the bad thing does happen, it will be okay. We will find the strength to deal with what comes, the Lord will comfort us and teach us and we will come out on the other side stronger and wiser.
Having an eternal perspective is paramount to a happy life. Especially in this world of short sighted-ness. I am going to try to stop looking just over the next hill and start looking instead at the sunlight between the trees.
I hope that you will all have more faith than I. You will need it.

Weekend J.O.Y.

J- Today Adam was carrying in the groceries from the car for me and said, "Mom . . . look . . . I have BIG MUSCLE'S!" He is such a little man and just melts me:)

O- Enjoying a wonderful evening with my little family and our friends at the park. The weather was surprisingly nice for this time of year. I love to be outside.

Y- Kissing Claire's soft cheeks in the pool and watching her sheer delight as she mimicked her siblings and ate chips in her car seat!

I also enjoyed watching a movie with my older girls last night. It is so nice to snuggle their little bodies.

Today was a really good day. It is the kind of day that makes you grateful to be alive. I spend so much time worrying about what the future holds that I sometimes miss the here and now. Everything was perfect. The kids are Happy and Healthy, my marriage is strong. I know that life will bring us our fair share of trials and triumphs. I am just happy that I was blessed with today.

J- Playing with my Baby today on the floor in the piano room. Peak-a-boo, tickles, and lots of kisses!

O-I ate lunch today alone while listening to peaceful music. I actaully had the brain space to think!

Y- Got a lot of cleaning done and had a nice workout!

Guilty

I'll admit, I am a bit of a self help junkie. I get a lot out of these types of books. I don't read them cover to cover, I skim topics and find the ones that apply to me. While at Walgreens the other day I picked up "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" 100 of the Best Inspirations from the Best Selling Series. I am really enjoying it:)

I came across this . . .


"We take simple preferences and turn them into conditions for our own happiness." ~Richard Carlson
Guilty as charged!!! I do this all of the time! I realized how profound this really is. I have preferences and I have a lot of them: I want to be thinner, I want my house to be clean all the time, I want to do fun things with my children, I want to have more free time, and on and on. How terrible that I have turned these things into actual conditions upon which my happiness is contingent! I will be happy when . . .

I'm going to stop it now!

Just for laughs!

We'll get the last laugh won't we!

J. O. Y.

Many many years ago, when I attended E.F.Y. (especially for youth) I had a counselor who challenged us to keep a joy journal. She asked us to write three things each day that brought us joy (one for each letter). I have done this on and off but I think that it is a nice concise way of keeping happy memories. So here we go again . . .

J- Enjoying a quiet afternoon with James. Adam was at his gymnastics Preschool, Claire was napping, the girls were at school, and I was enjoying a turkey sandwich, chips, and carrot sticks, compliments of my sweet husband.

O- Listening to Daddy singing "I once knew a boy named Bud Bud . . . " It is the worst song you have ever heard but it is oddly catchy. It goes on:

. . . who had big muscles

. . . who saved his sisters from a bear

. . . who saved his Mommy from a Tiger

etc. etc.

Adam gets so much delight in it and we laugh at James.

Y- Reading Harry Potter to the girls last night in my bed. I have never read the series and I am excited to read them with the kids this summer!

Here's a bonus one (yesterday was a good day).

-Listening to the rain and thunder and watching the lightening. Talking to James in candlelight when the power went out and being disappointed when the lights, TV, and computer all came back on!

Big Muscles!