Ive Been Quiet

These last few months I have been learning.  I have found that it is in these "learning" times that I get quiet.  I have not had much to say.  I feel like I have been in the sea,  coming and going with the tide.  I am washed out to sea, tossed around in the waves for a time and then washed up onto the shore.  Once I get back to the shore it takes me a moment to understand what has happened. "How long have I been washing in the waves and have I made it to safety?  I cannot retell the story because I am not quite sure what the story is.  At times  I am not sure which direction to swim.  Do I swim with the current or against it?  Which direction should I go?  At times there is darkness and at others I see a lighthouse on a distant hill.  I feel scared, weak, unsure, helpless, unaware, and disbelieving.  I am still not sure of the details.  I still have not yet understood the journey.  All I know is that I'm learning, of what I am not clear.  I have hope in my future self.  She will come out victorious.  She will not give in to weakness.  She will learn.