Mother - Illusionist

 

     I just finished posting these photos from Adam's Birthday party onto my family blog.  He had a family party on Sunday afternoon and a friend party Monday morning.  Everything was perfect and all events came together to create an unforgettable fifth Birthday Celebration . . . or so they thought!

  Last week was a doosie.  I started out the weekend prior with my little sister and her husband moving in with us.  This was a last minute happenstance and required the removal of all the contents of Audrey's bedroom and closet.  The inards were spewed out into the middle of the adjoining hallway and gameroom.  There were things in that closet that I have been ignoring since last spring!  There they were, staring at me, mercilessly requiring my attention.  I practiced a lot of selected neglect for the days that followed.

   I had planned to hire a babysitter Saturday so that I could run around and prepare everything for Adam's birthday.  Since James was going to be out of town until that evening I decided to trade in my sitter for the nighttime so that we could go out on a date.  We made it a double date so that we could invite our new roomies.  This left me with no party plans at 7:00 p.m. Saturday night. 

     We enjoyed a nice dinner and then decided to squeeze Walmart in between dinner and a movie.  Walmart cannot be squeezed into anything!  Two and a half hours later, we had missed our movie and we were still at Walmart - ALL FOUR OF US!  I had sent the boys to find out that aparently everyone with half the brain to use a helium machine had gone home for the night and they would not fill my balloons.  This was really my only source of decor and the only real surprise I had up my sleeve.  I was going to sneak the balloons into his room so that he would wake up to see them that morning.  This was unacceptable.  Watch out boys, let me show you how to get things done!  A half hour later and we were walking out with a dozen balloons floating proudly with helium.
    
     We arrived home at almost midnight and  I felt terrible having ruined our date.  The next morning, I awoke to Adam's little face peering over the mattress wearing the very expression of disappointment.  "Mom, you have to have ALL of the decorations."  Now, before you judge Adam for being a spoiled brat, he has seen streamers and paper flowers, twinkling lights, and Birthday banners for his sisters.  Balloons in the bedroom was not a proper replacement.  Note to self:  boys do care about Birthday decorations.  After reassuring him that we would have a Birthday party after church he replied, "We can't go to church on Birthdays!!"

  Onto my next trick, waffles for breakfast.  This went over just fine but kept me in the kitchen much longer than anticipated and any hopes of baking a cake before church were washed down the drain with the leftover syrup.

   We didn't get home from church until after 4:30.  I had planned to make Lasagna for Adam because it is one of his favorite meals.  In retrospect, I should have planned to make frozen pizza!  The kids would have been just as happy.  The Lasagna did not come out of the oven until 7:00 p.m.  Exhausted and still wrapping gifts, I was kicking myself for not making things easier on myself.  We ended up having a great dinner and a fun family party. After the kids were in bed, I was up cleaning and clearing into the late hours of the night.  Instead of frosting my cupcakes for Adam's friend party the next morning, I went to bed. 

     The next morning, I woke up after I had planned.  No one cooperated.  I did not arrive early to the party.  I did not frost my cupcakes.  I will spare most of the details but must add that my morning involved unsticking the tabs of my daughters diaper while she was standing and having poo "roll" onto my rug!  All of this while she was screaming and crying about not wanting a particular pair of shoes!  Adam had stayed up late for his Birthday and was grumpy as could be.  He didn't even want to have another party.  Note to self: Do not let your child stay up late the night before his party. 

   I arrived at my friends house with my unfrosted cupcakes.  Luckily for me, she greeted me with wet hair and was blowing up the contents of one of the games that we were meant to play.  She had the items for her gift bags spread out on the counter.  We took one look at each other and just laughed!  "It is a good thing that we had the kids dropped off," I said.  "That way, we do not have any of the other Mom's here to criticise us!"  The truth is, the kids didn't care.  They played for the first thirty minutes while we got our act together.  The party was a success and everyone was happy. 

All is well that ends well . . . right?!

While I would really prefer to have everything come off without a hitch, I think it is important to reveal the truth.  These kinds of things take real effort.  Something always gets in the way.  Things don't ever go as planned.  The important thing is that it happened at all.  That is all the kids will remember. 



    

Managing Toys

After several years of trial and error, I have finally found a system for toys that works for me.  It is unrealistic for our family to clean up and sort all of the toys every day.  We have to be able to do a quick pick up and be out the door or off to bed.  We keep all of our toys upstairs but inevitably there are a few (or a lot) that get brought downstairs every day.  For this reason, I purchased these mesh hampers.  You can find them at Ross for as little as 5 dollars.  I keep one in my closet under my stairs and another one upstairs in Adam's closet.  I could put one in each one of my kid's closet but I think they would get REALLY full before we would get around to emptying them out. 

     At the end of the day, as I straighten up my downstairs, I pull out the mesh hamper and put all of the toys that have been left downstairs inside.  I do the same thing upstairs.  I try to have the kids put their toys away in the right places at the end of the day but for those crazy nights the toys get thrown into the hamper. 

     Ideally, each Saturday we would spend time as a family sorting out the toys and putting them in the right places.  This can be tricky because the toys are all mixed together and they belong in three different rooms.  You could waste a lot of time walking back and forth between rooms.  

       I take the hamper and dump it out in each room.  Anything that doesn't belong in that room gets thrown back into the hamper and then what is left on the floor is sorted and put away.   I then carry the hamper into the next room and we repeat the process. 

     I have tried many different storage or organizational systems for storing toys and these are my favorite.  For the two little ones, the bins are open and it is easy for the kids to see what goes where.  Audrey and Rachel have outgrown this system and now have baskets on the shelf full of their barbies and littlest petshops etc.  I also use the stack able sterilite or rubbermaid bins for things like legos and blocks.  They even have big ones for dress ups or stuffed animals.  They are stackable but are sold separately so that you can buy as many as you need.  The middle part slides out easily so that the kids can remove the bin while they play and then return it easily to it's place. 



     Figuring out how to manage the toys in my home has really helped me to keep my house clean and avoid stress!  I remember a friend of mine once saying to me while my kids were really little, "It is important to have clearly defined 'adult space' and 'kid space'."  I whole heartedly agree with this.  

What works for you? 

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Where is Super Nanny when I need her?

You know those women that walk around the grocery store like robots, dutifully pushing the grocery cart with their eyes straight forward while their bratty children scream and fight with one another?   Well, that's me, nice to meet you!

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The Albatross Around My Neck

Creepy isn't he . . .

"Laundry is the Albatross around my neck!" I said yesterday to James.  He looked at me as if I were crazy!  "Where in the world does that saying come from?"  he asked.  We often wonder that about common phrases that we use regularly.  I looked this one up and this is what I discovered.

From Wikepedia: 

The word 'albatross' is sometimes used metaphorically to mean a psychological burden that feels like a curse. It is an allusion to Samuel Taylor Coleridge's poem The Rime of the Ancient Mariner (1798).



In the poem, an albatross starts to follow a ship — being followed by an albatross was generally considered an omen of good luck. However, the titular mariner shoots the albatross with a crossbow, which is regarded as an act that will curse the ship (which indeed suffers terrible mishaps). To punish him, his companions induce him to wear the dead albatross around his neck indefinitely (until they all die from the curse, as it happens). Thus the albatross can be both an omen of good or bad luck, as well as a metaphor for a burden to be carried (as penance).


The symbolism used in the Coleridge poem is its highlight. For example:


Ah ! well a-day ! what evil looks


Had I from old and young !


Instead of the cross, the Albatross


About my neck was hung.


     It may seem silly but it is true.  Laundry very well feels like my burden to be carried.  I find it interesting that in this poem, the man shoots the albatross in the first place and brings this burden upon himself.  I can relate as I do the same when I neglect the laundry day after day until it all but swallows me whole.  I don't know why but it drags me down and keeps me from doing a lot of the other things that I need to do. 

     This week, I have conquered the laundry.  I got it all washed, folded, and PUT AWAY last Thursday out of sheer will to get it out of my life!  I have been doing two small loads every day since and have been keeping it at bay.  This enabled me to pick up on a whim and go to the ranch on Friday and Saturday.  It has cleared away the cobwebs and I am able to see some of the other things that I need to get done more clearly.

 Here is to staying on top of it! 

May the curse pass from me this day forward!!

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A Feather in Her Hair

Audrey wants a feather in her hair.

"Everything that's cool is inappropriate," she said through her tears.  There I was, in the middle of my bathroom floor, frozen.  "Everyone else has one . . . all of my friends."  "What is the big deal?"  "I don't understand why you won't let me?"  "I feel like what I feel doesn't even matter to you."  "What about what I want?"  I was beginning to feel dizzy.  I couldn't just let this one slide, or bribe her with a treat, or distract her with something she might like just as much.  This one was real and she wasn't backing down.  She wasn't being disrespectful, but she was unrelenting.  The questions just kept streaming in and I didn't know the answers.  "There are lots of cute tops and they are too bare, or cute shorts but they are too short." "I just feel like you want me to look like you want me to look."  And there it was.  Right from her lips to the bottom of my sunken heart.  Deep breath, and here we go. 
     The truth is, baby girl, you and I are not always going to see eye to eye.  I am going to tell you things that you don't want to hear.  You are going to get frustrated and even angry.  You are going to think that I am trying to ruin your life.  I am not always going to know what to say, and I am not going to cave in just because you cry, even though it kills me to see you hurting, even if it is a silly little thing.  I know for you it's not silly.  I am going to try to teach you what I believe is right, and then you are going to grow up and make your own choices.  I will have done my part.  I cannot always promise that I will be right, but I can promise that I will do my best.  And hopefully one day, your character will be the feather in your hair.  I love you. 


  For the record, I did not say that the feather was inappropriate.  I merely felt that it is a trend and I don't like the way it looks. 


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Cici on Steroids

        Cici has roid rage. 

It has been a rough couple of days. 

    

 I have been in a bit of a quandary.  You see, I sit down and look at my life and ask myself, "what do I need to do differently to make my life run more smoothly?"  I come up with all kinds of answers and all kinds of ideas about how to "fix" my life.  I get all excited about the changes I am going to make and feel like "this time" I am finally going to do it.  I am going to "get it all together."  Then BAM, Claire gets bronchitis with a side of an asthma flair up,  soar throat soup, and an ear infection for dessert.  (or something like that).

What follows is ugly, I'm afraid to admit.  I get all kinds of m.a.d.  I just start to feel as though the cards are stacked against me.  There is always some flaw in my plan that I didn't see, some variable that I did not account for.   Then I feel defeated. 

This is usually when I throw out the plan.  I live my life day by day and do whatever it is that I do.  This is a very reactive approach to life.  It often leads me right back to where I started.

You can see the conundrum.  

My focus word for this year is "intentional."  It is the opposite of reactive. 

 I am still trying to figure out how to have a plan while not getting to bent out of shape when I can't stick to the plan.   I'll let you know how it goes . . .

. . .  in the meantime, my two year old is on steroids - wish me luck! 

 



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Today was one of those days when everything goes wrong.  I have been two steps behind since the moment that my feet hit the floor this morning.  Best advice I could give anyone who is attempting this whole Mother gig, "Just roll with it!"

AND SMILE!

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’Twas a sheep not a lamb


That strayed away in the parable Jesus told,

A grown-up sheep that strayed away

From the ninety and nine in the fold.

And why for the sheep should we seek

And earnestly hope and pray?

Because there is danger when sheep go wrong:

They lead the lambs astray.

Lambs will follow the sheep, you know,

Wherever the sheep may stray.

When sheep go wrong,

It won’t take long till the lambs are as wrong as they.

And so with the sheep we earnestly plead

For the sake of the lambs today,

For when the sheep are lost

What a terrible cost

The lambs will have to pay. 6

C. C. Miller, “The Echo,” in Best-Loved Poems of the LDS People, ed. Jack M. Lyon and others (1996), 312–13.

Happy Moments

     Today was one of those days that you soak in like the sunlight on a warm day in early Spring.  We spent the afternoon putting together a porch swing for our front yard.  The weather was perfect and there was a cool breeze that excused  the increase in humidity.  The kids were laughing together and being silly as our seven pound teddy bear of a dog sat like a guard dog, threatening all of the people who passed by.  Even in my irritation at his barking I couldn't help but think it was cute how loyal and protective he is toward our little family.  Rachel sat on our bench stroking his fur, her long brown hair blowing in the wind.
      Adam swelled with masculine pride as he helped his Daddy with the "building."  He read the directions and studied the diagram and bent to gather tools and screws.  He scrunched up his nose and pursed his lips as he concentrated on the great task at hand.  His big blue eyes sparkled in the daylight.  Claire busied herself with whatever two-year-old chore she could sink her fingers into.  She giggled and trotted around the yard in her brand new white sandals.  The girls pranced around the circle at the end of our cul-de-sac donned in fancy skirts made of bubble wrap that floated elegently toward their ankles.  I sat smiling to myself as I watched my boys bonding over tools and my little girls bouncing around in their innocence.
     After the swing was finished, all four children and a dog piled onto the swing in pure contentment.  Overwhelmed by the sight of them all in such close proximity, hapily overlapping in both body and chatter, I couldn't help but feel a sense of pure joy.  At that moment Rachel looked up at me and said, "Mom, since we are having a happy moment right now, can we have a rice krispy treat?
   I love that even she recognized this happy moment.  I am blessed by happy moments like these. 
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Picking up the Shovel

     I have been in a major rut.  This is one of the worst ruts I have been in for a long time.  I just can't seem to get myself out of it.  I have been hating my duties lately.  As I gathered the laundry from each of the bedrooms in the house I could feel the anger well up inside of my chest!  It just feels like I will never reach the summit!!  I keep climbing and climbing and every day I get knocked back down several hundred feet.  I have been getting discouraged and have lost all of my motivation.  As I was vacuuming the small hallway between my entry way and my bedroom today I remembered a story that I had read. 
  
  During the depression, a man had lost his job.  He had been searching for work to no avail.  Finally, he came to a job sight and just picked up a shovel and started digging.  The foreman came to him and said, "Sir, I can't afford to pay you for your work."  The man looked at him and said, "I don't care if I get payed, you see, I have to work."  Day after day the man came to work for no wages.  After a period of time the employer appreciated this mans work ethic and hired him. 
 
  The thing that really speaks to me in this story is that the man recognized that he needed to work.  There are many reasons why we work and only one of those is to get payed.  Good. honest, hard, work makes you feel good inside.  We were made to work.  I think that our society has become so conditioned to desire only ease and entertainment that we have forgotten the true value of hard work. 
     I have been looking at my life from the wrong perspective.  I am never going to reach any certain destination in my line of "work."  No matter what, I am going to wake up to a full workload each new day.  It is not so much in the completing of the work but in the work itself that I need to take pride.  I just need to pick up my shovel and dig in.  I may not "earn a wage" for my work that day, or complete the task at hand, but I have worked long and hard and for that I can be satisfied.   

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My Reality

Ever feel like this??

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A Trip down Memory Lane to Grandma Irvin's House

     We would all pile into the family mini van, usually on our way out of town.  We could never leave without making a visit to our Great Grandma Irvin's house.  With both sides of the family living only a couple of miles away from one another in the small town of Farmington New Mexico, our trips were always jam packed.  As the car slowed to a stop the seatbelts came flying off and we stumbled out of the car, usually exhausted and arguing with one another. 

     Standing at the front door to greet us was my Great Grandma Irvin with her face wrinkled into a smile.  She gave the tightest hugs; my face crushed into her chest and scraped against her glasses that  dangled from a chain around her neck.  We were invited in to her small entry area where she hung dozens of photos with nothing but love and a little scotch tape.  "This is your Uncle Sam's daughter, Angie, and her two babies and aren't they just getting so big!"  "Uncle Robert come down the other day to see me and he brought me . . ." her voice trailed off into the Living area as we all made our way to the sofas.

     My Grandpa Buck sat in the recliner chair next to the window.  He'd lean forward to hug me and my face pressed against the rigid edges of the wallet that he kept in the pocket of his shirt.  I'd glance at the old box TV that sat lifeless on the floor.  I can never remember a time that it was on or in working condition.  Grandma always got out her old marble game and set it on the floor for us kids to occupy ourselves while the adults circulated around the room to look at all of the new photos that Grandma had received.  As I got older I joined the parade around the room.  The photos were both old and new, framed and unframed, some even leaned up against the frame or were inserted into the outside lip of the frame.  Some were labeled correctly and some were not. Some of the great-grandkids were even placed with the wrong parent or family grouping.  We smiled to ourselves and overlooked the mistakes.  Grandma was so proud of her family, of that there was no doubt. 
    Updates from the family and old stories filled the air as my siblings and I shuffled through the glass candy dish next to Grandpa.  He always smiled at me out of the corner of his eye while I separated all of the strawberry candies from the butter scotches and the mints. Among my favorite memories of Grandma's stories is the way that she would laugh when she remembered the year that there was a fire in her house and she moved the family into the chicken coup until they could afford the repairs.  She laughed and smiled as if it weren't a tragedy at all but a sweet memory of happy times. 
     Grandma's pantry was always filled with all of the things that a kid could dream of, however, most of them were stale.  Her refrigerator held flat soda pop and we drank it through a straw.  We would eventually make our way out to the backyard.  There was always a cool breeze and metal chairs with rust spots.   I can remember bird feeders and tomatoe plants. 
     Of course our trip would not be complete without a trip down to Grandma's cellar.  She had Grandpa dig a whole in the ground under their bedroom closet.  She removed a piece of carpet from the closet floor and there was a hatch and a ladder that lead to the celler.  The dirt floor was cool and it always smelled of a musty clay.  There were shelves full of canned foods.  Grandma had an impressive amount of food storage but it paled in comparrison to the chambers that held it.   
     Our visit always ended with a tear in Grandma's eye and a "You come see me soon!" or "You comin' to the reunion this summer?"  She really was the quentessential Grandma.  As I got older I came to understand a little more about my Grandma.  She was always going to lunch with a friend or working at the Family History Center.  She lived her entire life in her own home, she took pride in doing things for herself, and she maintained her positive energy until the end of her life.  She had a love for life and a love of her family that is unmatched.  I hope to be just like her.  Love you Grandma.  Miss you!

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Laundry Tips - Still True

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Practical Advice

Never serve colored beverages at a party . . . NEVER!  (Especially when children are involved).
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Survival Mode

I do not like "survival mode."  This is the mode that I get into when I am barely keeping my head above water and I am doing only the essential things.  This is when I do not plan ahead, I get behind, I forget things, and I have to dig through piles of clean laundry to find socks for my kids.  This is when I don't exercise, I eat things that I shouldn't and I feel tired all of the time.

I plan to break out of survival mode in the near future. Here are some of the things I plan to do . . .

-Get up early to work out.
     This always makes me feel like I am in control.  I have a burst of energy after I work out and this gives me the push I need to start my day off right.

-Plan my Menu.
     When I don't know what we are going to eat for dinner I always feel like I am in survival mode.  I whip something together at the last minute and feel unorganized.  Planning my menu gives me a check point each day so that I know what I need to prepare and I can stay on track. 

-Update my google calendar and schedule some of my important tasks.
     I am not naturally organized!  With google calendar I can send myself text message reminders a day or two and an hour or two before something I need to do. This is saving my life!

-Have a nice dinner and Decorate with my new place mats.
     I have been in a rut.  I recently bought some new place mats so that I could set the table nicely and we can sit down to a nice meal.  I think this will make me feel like "Suzy Homemaker" and I will hopefully gain some momentum. 

What do you do to get out of survival mode???



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Utter Chaos

     "Utter Chaos," she said as I apologized for the state of the morning.  We loaded up the couch into the back of her friend's pick up truck and she was on her way.  I breathed a sigh of relief as I ran back into the house and out of the cold.

      I had spent the morning making small talk with a young single girl who had come to pick up my sister's couch that has taken up residence in my tiny garage for the last couple of months.  Small talk was no small thing on this particular Saturday morning as I cleaned up the dishes from the night before; hand washing pans and cookie sheets and scraping ketchup off of plates and counter tops that the babysitter had left for me to clean.  I shifted from one task to another while trying to maintain a cheerful conversation with the sweet stranger in my home.  I tried to make it seem effortless while I managed the cleanup and the constant parade of demands from my children.  There was crying, fighting, medicine, chocolate milk, cereal, candy, diaper changes, puppy poop, puppy prison break from the backyard, falling off of chairs and exercise balls . . .  and the parade continued.  All the while, she was receiving phone calls and texts from her friend, the owner of the pick up truck who had found herself with a flat tire a few short miles from the house.

      Lemony Snicket's, "A Series of Unfortunate Events" comes to mind.  The morning had played out like a scene from an old movie, streaming in slow motion.  By the time the mended flat tire rolled its way into the driveway it had been about an hour and a half.  "Utter Chaos" pretty much summed it up.  It pricked a little as it rolled so casually off of her tongue.  The comment was innocent enough but it somehow wrapped up my whole life so helplessly in two harmless little words. 

     After the truck drove out of sight with a 15 year old, slip covered, couch hanging off the tailgate,  I took inventory of the rest of my day.  Brittany had my van and I had four little inmates to entertain.  I must admit that my two year old scared me more than the piles of laundry I had stashed in my master closet. 

   I had come home the night before feeling deflated.  I had an unfortunate encounter with an overachieving Mother of four who graduated law school, taught at the University of Texas, home schools her children, maintains a clean home, runs marathons, and is skinny and beautiful to boot!!!  The final straw landed on the proverbial hay stack when I discovered that she is MY. SAME. AGE.  How do some people accomplish so much more in the same amount of time? 
     Fortunately for me, I came home to find my little sister, eight years my junior, with the wisdom of a woman four times her age.  Among other things she said something so simple and yet so profound.,  she said, " Mom didn't graduate law school and she was and is the best Mom in the world!"  This statement made me think about my Mother and all that she is and realize that it really doesn't matter that she didn't do those kinds of things.  She is everything and more that we needed her to be.  If I can become half of the woman that she is then I will feel accomplished indeed.  Then Brittany read me this quote,

 “Because of the conflicts and challenges we face in today’s world, I wish to suggest a single choice—a choice of peace and protection and a choice that is appropriate for all. That choice is faith. Be aware that faith is not a free gift given without thought, desire, or effort. It does not come as the dew falls from heaven. The Savior said, “Come unto me” (Matthew 11:28) and “Knock, and it shall be [given] you” (Matthew 7:7). These are action verbs—come, knock. They are choices. So I say, choose faith. Choose faith over doubt, choose faith over fear, choose faith over the unknown and the unseen, and choose faith over pessimism.  "Elder Richard C. Edgley

  Pessimism and I have been doing a little dance lately and unfortunately, I have been letting him lead.  He is a good teacher, he talks you right through one step to the next, leading you across the floor until you are dancing effortlessly all over the sullen ballroom.

      I have felt the suffocating effects of longing for things that are unattainable for me at this season of my life.  I am confused by the dichotomy of desires within my heart to learn and grow and change as an individual and to serve my family selflessly.     

     I am constantly berated with the messages of today so I found it somewhat refreshing when I recently stumbled upon a passage from a book filled with the messages of yesterday.

It read,  "What about giving the heart? Isn't giving your heart equally as important as giving your mind?  Those women who are experts in giving love, kindness and patience to their families are giving as much, yes, more, than their I.Q.  Isn't the product of the heart equal to the product of the mind?  Doesn't it do as much or more for the betterment of society.  The ladies who donate their I.Q. to society may render a service, no doubt, not if in so doing they rob the home of its mind and heart, what then can compensate for this loss?  And those ladies who feel that they have a gigantic brain must realize that unless they match it with a gigantic heart, they are only half a woman, and it would be far more important for them to stay home and educate the heart than to leave the home and go into the world to share their intellect there.  Their contributions of the heart will do more for the well being of society than their contributions of the mind."  (from the highly controversial Book "Fascinating Womanhood"  written in 1963 by: Helen B. Andelin) 
So I guess this is what I am doing.  I'm giving and educating my heart here at home.  Somewhere in this "Utter Chaos" I am giving my heart and I am teaching my heart about love and patience and tenderness and kindness.  Some days I would rather lead with my mind or let pessimism lead with his expertise in undermining goodness and happiness.  The heart seems the better choice and in time, its grandparent Charity may lead and the ballroom will no longer be sullen but filled with brightness and promise of a whimsical night filled with music and dancing and laughter and hope. 

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Ideals

"Don't ever become so obsessed with your ideals that you forget the thing that is most important - the people in your life."



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Interruptions

INTERRUPTIONS

"When you are exasperated by interruptions, try to remember that their very frequency may indicate the value of your life. Only people who are full of help and strength are burdened by other persons' needs. The interruptions which we chafe at are the credentials of our indispensability. The greatest condemnation that anybody could incur - and it is a danger to guard against - is to be so independent, so unhelpful, that nobody ever interrupts us, and we are left comfortably alone."

-Anonymous

from The Anglican Digest

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The Dreaded New Year

Every year when January 1st lands on the calendar, I feel the pressure.  I know I am not alone in this.    While I agree that the first day of the year is a fine time to have a fresh start, the very notion that we can suddenly be consistent in every ideal is a complete farce.  I have set this standard for myself every year at this time and have found myself in suffocating anxiety three short weeks later.  It is like a broken record and I never learn.

NOT THIS YEAR!

I tell you, it will not happen again.

 First of all, I decided that I wasn't even going to think about making (or starting) any goals until after my kids went back to school.  It would have been fruitless at best to even attempt to make any changes while I had all four "underminers" at home.  Since the kids went back to school in the middle of the week, I gave myself a grace period of a weekend to recover from the Christmas "break."

     In the past, I would investigate all of the dusty corners of my life only to determine that it was ALL important and that it ALL had to change.  I had a very hard time picking and choosing which change was necessary and which sloppy habits I could leave hanging around .  This was all very overwhelming and a real detriment to my self esteem.  My thoughts read,  "As turns out, I am a mess!  How have I been living like this!" and the like.

I tell you, it won't happen again.

This year I have chosen two habits to implement in my life.

We can find my first habit in the scriptures in D&C 88:124

"Retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated."


I will be focusing on the second portion of the scripture and am hoping that the first will happen as a result of the second.  I have found time and time again that when I get up early and exercise, read my scriptures and pray, or any combination of the three, I have a much better day.  I am not going to set the goal to do these other things, I am merely going to get up early, and I am hoping that the rest will follow.

The second habit that I am going to work on this year has to do with a previous post I did about queens.
By 4:00 p.m. when my kids get home, the main areas of my house will be straightened and we will have an "intentional" dinner.  We may be having chicken nuggets, but we will have them together at the kitchen table.  I want my family to feel that there are some things that they can count on no matter what kind of day I have had.  I want the time between when my kids get home and when they go to bed to be predictable and intentional. 

So that's it! Getting up early and having things in some semblance of order at 4:00 so that we can have an intentional evening.  No matter what else gets done or doesn't get  done in my day, it will be a success if I have accomplished these two things. 

Good riddance to overreaching goals that can't be met!

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